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Hello. I’m President Yasui, running a company specializing in high-pressure gas equipment inspections as a solo entrepreneur.
Adults and children, parents and children, bosses and subordinates.
Different roles, but still hierarchical relationships.
Recently, I had some thoughts about one of these relationships—parents and children.
Children are not the property of their parents; they are individuals with their own personalities.
This is something that should be easy to understand with a little thought.
Children are not tools for their parents to use, nor should they be treated as such.
Yet, parents often try to make their children obey.
"Study."
"Have you done this? What about that?"
In sports, "You have to do it this way," "Do it better."
We tend to give orders.
Some children may thrive under such strictness.
In past generations, this kind of parenting was the norm.
I personally think our generation (those born in the late Showa era) might have been the last to experience this style of upbringing.
Of course, this is just my opinion (laughs).
I’m currently raising my own children, and lately, I’ve been reflecting on how I felt as a child.
As parents, we often nag, but how did we feel when adults did the same to us?
Maybe we didn't pay much attention to it.
Maybe we didn’t have strong opinions about it.
If I can’t find clues from my own past, I try to step into my child’s perspective.
I imagine their facial expressions, body language, and emotions.
When we scold our children, what kind of face do we show them?
If we looked at ourselves in the mirror, what would we think?
We can imagine it because we’re human.
Some kids might take action just to avoid being nagged.
But does being nagged ever make someone happy?
I now believe it’s more important to encourage children to think for themselves.
Let’s apply this to adult relationships, like between spouses.
What if your husband or wife was constantly nagging?
Just imagining it makes my hairline recede!
If everything you say gets shot down, and your household is full of moral harassment, that's a red flag.
When speaking only leads to criticism, people naturally stop talking.
Our instinct for self-preservation is strong.
If you ever become aware of this self-defense mechanism in yourself or others, my belief is that you must fight against it.
Otherwise, we stop thinking for ourselves.
I digress (laughs).
Nagging parents take away their children’s opportunities to think.
Instead of taking away, we should encourage.
Our words should guide rather than command.
Most parents want their children to grow into independent individuals who can act on their own will, not just follow orders.
For that to happen, we, as parents, must first become independent ourselves.
Let’s break free from being nagging parents and take steps toward a happier family life.
Today's Quote:
"Overly strict parents are poison."
See you next time!
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